Illustration for the blog: A Time For Grace
"Gradually Falling Asleep In Apathy Of Unconsciousness" - Paulo Zerbato/2011
Watching For The Storm
Kind friends continue to touch base and ask, "How are you doing? How are you feeling?"
Well, most of this week, and especially last night, I have been going to bed super late! That often happens when Ruben works the night shift; but it also happens when I´m worried or preoccupied about something. I stay awake (often keeping busy with emails or following news on the internet) until I can´t keep my eyelids open any more...I think it´s a defense mechanism against thinking too much!
In addition to not sleeping much, I also haven´t been eating well this week either, another small way to try to control my circumstances. That symptom usually pops up when I´m under stress. While I´m not feeling particularly stressed, apart from any other normal pregnancy, these behaviors of mine reveal the concern that is mounting about the coming storm.
In these first days I have been pretty positive when I talk to people. It has been genuine, not contrived. Part of that is due to a real trust in God, part is due to the many prayers that others have offered for us, and part of that has been just a stubborn will and sheer determination to never drown in depression and grief again...."